Dec04

Best Joint Custody Agreement

“It has recently become clear that common physical custody is not the ideal solution that was once thought possible. Too often, the child can go back and forth between his parents and not really feel like a “home”. Consistency is often difficult to achieve with such regulation. The rules may be different for each parent — bedtime is 8:30 a.m. at Mom`s, but 10:00 at Dad`s. School work sometimes suffers. For example, duties that are assigned while the child stays in one house but are returned when he is to another may be accidentally overlooked. Friends are different and difficult to keep in every house, the babysitter can be different every time, and so on. Children who are struggling to adapt to change may find common physical care too chaotic. In general, parents have to work very such regulations.

Common physical guarding rarely reduces hostility between the parties and may even accentuate it. It requires two parents who, over time, commit to putting the child`s needs first and to being able to create a conflict-free zone for their child. Parents who opt for joint physical care should be prepared to communicate with each other in an open and frequent manner. Shared custody requires two parents to commit to being parents. (www.ncfamilylaw.com/download/jtcus27.html) Once you and your ex have obtained shared physical custody of your children, it may take some time to discover the logistics. Coordinate schedules. Divvying up holiday. Shuffling kids between houses. Sharing custody of children is not always easy, especially if you are trying to agree with someone you could not be married to.

A key factor in successful parenting in homes where parents are married is the ability to have parents “together,” to “speak with one voice” and to give a united front. Married people have a hard time doing it and doing a good job, but at least where they disagree, they have common goals and have a relationship that they must maintain, which encourages compromise and respectful discourse. This is lacking in a divorce situation and is even more burdened when in-laws put themselves in the image of their own interests and agendas. Moreover, people who do not share the same household and life will simply not be consistent in detail, regardless of the community of values and interests and educational style. The cumulative effect of all these little things add up and accumulate on larger things, such as shared custody, instead of having two houses, which the child actually has is not a home. These two really need to work together to reach a common decision. Her ex may have dropped the ball and drove her crazy, but the water reminds her clients that “even if he or she wasn`t a good spouse, it`s still possible for him or her to be a good parent.” In most cases, Says Wasser, “it is undoubtedly preferable for children to have frequent and permanent contact with both parents.” Your marriage may not have worked, but your parenthood may still succeed. The child lives with a parent and visits one in two parents every other weekend. This child care system provides uniform regulation for the child with little exchange.

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